


I wish that were me

by Notcreativenough



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst and Feels, Crying, Fluff and Angst, Imaginary relationship, Inner Dialogue, M/M, Out of Character, Sexual Content, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:54:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28870395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notcreativenough/pseuds/Notcreativenough
Summary: Quackity has feelings for Bad and finds himself in a hole too deep for him to crawl out of.All of the characters are OOC, as I don't know how to write them in these situations.
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity/Darryl Noveschosch, Zak Ahmed/Darryl Noveschosch mentioned
Comments: 23
Kudos: 192





	1. Bad Date

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Guys this is a warnings! DO NOT READ THIS IF It makes you uncomfortable don't read it!

Bad, Bad, Bad. That was all that Quackity could think of right now, he couldn’t get the man out of his head, god why did it have to be bad. Quackity looked around the barren room. He had just got back from his date with said man; it went awful. Dinner was a mess, Bad kept brining up Skeppy at any moment he could, and then disappearing into the night after escaping arrest. 

Of course Quackity knew it would never go far, Bad was in a relationship with Skeppy, he had just done it to make Quackity shut up for the night. So why was he so upset?

The walk home was terrible, every time someone on the server passed him, he had to keep his composer, he couldn’t cry, not now, he had to wait; he waved and smiled, stopped to talk for a minute and continued walking. _Don’t cry, don’t cry_. He hated himself.

He had barley made it through the front door before collapsing, gasping for breath as tears ran down his face, blurring his sight. He couldn’t stop them. Slamming the door behind him, crumbling to the ground, bringing his knees to his chest, letting out sobs that left his chest hurting and his throat burning. 

He didn’t remember falling asleep on the floor, he just remembers waking up on the icy floor, his tears being dried, leaving stains on his skin. His hands felt heavy as he wiped the remaining tears from his cheek, slowly lifting himself up, grabbing the door handle for extra support and shuffling to his room. 

He collapsed in his bed, brings the blankets to wrap around himself, tears filling his eyes again. He was so stupid to believe Bad would actually love him after that date. It was a fake fantasy he had thrown himself into that he couldn’t crawl back out of. 

_“Oh Quackity,”_ He sniffled, turning towards the voice. It was Bad, not the real Bad, but his Bad. He watched as Bad walked across the room and sat on the bed, gently lifting his hands to rest on his tear-stained cheeks. _“Quackity, why are you crying?”_

Quackity leaned into the touch, gently bringing his hands to wrap around Bad's fingers, god he was in so deep, “I know your not real.” He sniffled, tears falling from his eyes again.

He heard the man chuckle softly, gently guiding Quackity’s lips to his own, gently kissing him. Quackity melted into the kiss. It felt so good, but he felt so guilty to be thinking of another mans boyfriend like this, but he couldn’t help it. 

“ _I’m as real as you make me.”_


	2. Dreaming of You

He hated himself. He wishes he could forget about last night and push it far behind him. None of it was real anyway, it was a just version of Bad that he had made out with; he wasn’t real and the relationship he had made up had no possibility of being real, yet he couldn’t stop... Wanting. Quackity lifted himself from the bed, looking out at the clock. **2 P.M.** Groaning to himself, he quickly grabbed his beanie off the bedside table and began making his way to the kitchen and pouring himself a glass of water.

“Quackity, you good?” Quackity quickly turned to face the voice, stumbling a bit. Karl was sitting at the table, resting his chin on his hands, looking Quackity over.

“Karl, when did you get- “Karl shushed him, waving him off and patting the seat next to him, which Quackity hesitantly sitting down.

“I've been here since 12, I just came by to check on how your date went, how was it?” Quackity nibbled on his bottom lip, what was he going to say, “ _My date resisted arrest for drinking and driving, left me on the sidewalk, and wouldn’t stop talking about Skeppy, and then I visioned myself making out with him!”_

“It was fun, we went to the movies, ate dinner, and then he drove me home, simple date.” He smiled, _Liar._ Karl's grin widened and patted Quackity on the back.

“Well, I’m glad you had fun, you needed a break from work.” The two fell into a comfortable conversation talking about the day ahead, but a voice inside of his head couldn’t stop nagging him, could stop telling him to just tell Karl what really happened. _Just tell him what really happened, What good would come out of that?_ Quackity forced himself to regain interest in whatever Karl had been going on about, something about Sapnap and Punz or something.

\----------------------------------------------

“Have a good night, Quackity!” Karl shouted over his shoulder, waving and disappearing into the night. Quackity waved him off and closed the door behind, running a hand over his face. Slowly trudging himself to the living room and looking around.

 _Why didn’t you just tell him what really happened, he’s your best friend, he would understand!_ There it was, that stupid voice inside of his head.

“Why do you care so much, it was one date, one date that leads to nothing!” Quackity responded, was that his voice, was this how he was to other people. Quackity was losing his mind, he was yelling at himself, god he needed to go to bed. 

_It’s you who cares so much. It’s you who keeps bringing up Bad!_ Quackity groaned, throwing himself on the couch. He was just tired, he just needed to sleep. He closed his eyes, the only sounds coming from the ticking clock and wind blowing outside. Slowly he could feel his body lose weight and sleep finally falling over him.

Something tickled his side. Was that grass?

Quackity opened his eyes to look at a sky that was a dark purple and blue, with stars shining around. He lifted himself off the ground and looked around. He was in a field, surrounded by a dark forest. This felt familiar. Quackity looked around, seeing a small orange light from one part of the forest. He made his way over, his legs feeling heavy. The entire world was silent, only being able to hear the grass beneath his foot and his heavy breathing. He made his way towards the light, pushing branches out of his way, finally arriving at a campfire. 

“Oh Quackity, there you are, I thought you had gotten lost!” Bad’s voice came from behind him, Quackity turned away from the fire to face the demon. He looked the same as he always did, despite the fire’s light glowing on his clothes. His skin was still pitch black. Quackity watched as Bad made his way over, grasping his hips and pulling him closer. He gasped as he was held flush against his chest, before pulling away slightly.

“You were gone for hours, you should have told me where you went.” Bad gently grabbed his chin with his fingers, forcing Quackity to look at him in the eyes, one hand still on his hip, gripping it more tightly, making Quackity gasp. Quackitys legs felt like jelly, he gently grabbed Bad’s face in his own hands. Bad smirked and lowered his head next to Quackitys.

“I was so worried you had gotten hurt, I don't know what I would have done.” He growled, his voice low, a whimper escaping Quackity's closed lips. 

He sat up from the couch, stumbling to his feet. He was back in his house, no forest, no campfire, no Bad. Was that a dream?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've decided to make this a multi-part story, it will be updated at random, and I'm still working out a few kinks here and there. I hope you all stick around and I hope you liked this chapter!


	3. What is wrong with you

Bad wouldn’t be awake hell he might not even be at home, but Quackity needed to talk to him. To take his mind off the stupid dream he had not even five minutes ago. He quickened his pace, Bads house wasn’t far from his, only a couple miles, but it felt like hours to reach. Finally, after what felt like forever, he walked up the steps and knocked on the door.

Once 

Twice

“Hold on, I’m coming!” a voice rang out from inside, Quackity stopped his knocking just as the door swung open, showing an exhausted Bad. Quackity's breath hitched as Bad stared wide-eyed at him.

“Quackity, it’s like 4 am your muffin, what are you-please just come inside,” Bad said, stepping to the side to let the younger man in. Quackity quickly entered his house, watching as Bad closed the door and turned to him.

“Do you want tea?” Bad finally asked after a moment of staring. Quackity slowly nodded his head and followed Bad to the kitchen. They sat there in silence for a few moments, Bad turns the furnace on to boil the water, and Quackity looking him up and down. _Stop staring, creep._

“So, may I ask what you’re doing here so early in the morning?” Quackity sucked in a breath, twiddling his fingers, before finally looking Bad in the eyes, which was an awful idea as it only made his stomach flutter. Quackity cleared his throat before responding.

“Um, I just couldn’t sleep and you were the closest person around, sorry if I’m bothering you.” 

“Oh no, no, you’re not bothering me, I enjoy your company. Besides, I’ve been awake for hours.” Bad turned back to the boiling water, Quackity letting out a breath and watching Bad pour two cups of water.

“Are you sure I’m not bothering you, I can go home?” _Shut up, this is what you want, right? To be alone with Bad. If he had a problem, he wouldn’t have opened the door._ Bad laughed and turned towards him, setting one cup in front of Quackity.

“No, of course not, like I said, I enjoy your company.” Letting out a breath of relief, he brought the cup to his lips, catching a whiff of the peppermint that was put in it. _See, he’s not mad._

“Okay, I just wanted to talk to you, how have you been.” Quackity cringed at how worried he sounded, hoping Bad wouldn’t notice, thankfully Bad talked about his week.

God, Quackity couldn’t stop staring at him. The way his eyes crinkled when he remembered something, the sound of his tired voice which was deeper than his normal voice, the way his eyes stared back at Quackity, maintaining eye content. His eyes looked down at Bad's hands holding the glass, his mind wandering back to the dream he had, those hands gripping his waist. Quackity held back a whine at the feeling he remembered. Bad seemed to notice his disconnect and waved his hand in front of his eyes,

“Quackity, are you alright?” Snapping his eyes back to look at Bad.

“Yes, sorry,” He choked out, Bad gave him a questioned look. “Really, I’m fine, please continue.” Shrugging, Bad continued on with his story. _Really? How can you even look at him after thinking that! This isn’t a dream, this is real life! I know it is, you don’t think I don’t._ Quackity turned his attention back to Bad, trying his best to ignore the voice in his head. 

_Why did you come here to get your mind off the dream, that was a stupid idea, wasn’t it? I didn’t even expect him to let me inside!_

“-Ity, Quackity!” He snapped his head back to look at a worrying Bad, guilt immediately filling his chest. “Are you sure you are okay, you look tired, maybe you should just go to bed?” Quackity stared at Bad a moment before realizing what he had said. Immediately he stood up from the table. Shaking his head.

“That won’t- “He felt a hand covered his mouth, silencing him. He looked up at Bad, who was now sighing and shaking his head.

“Please, I insist, you look like you need rest, I have a spare room for you.” Bad steadily took his hand of Quackity’s mouth. Slowly Quackity nodded, following Bad to the spare room. He finally walked into the room, overlooking the decor. It looked like a normal guest bedroom, a bed, two nightstands, a dresser.

“You can sleep here, if you need anything, I’ll be right in the kitchen.” Quackity nodded, watching as Bad smiled, closing the door. He listened to his footsteps get farther away before letting out a groan. Turning away from the door and trudging his way to the bed. Slowly he lowered himself into the covers, getting hit with the smell of blueberries and cinnamon.

 _This bed is really comfy._ Quackity slowly closed his eyes, letting himself sleep.

\-----------------------------

Quackity slowly opened his eyes, flickering around the room before remembering where he was. He lifted himself for the bed, yawning and stretching before making his way out of the room. He walked down the hall before stopping in front of the doorway. The man wasn’t Bad, Bad didn’t wear blue. Quackitys breath hitched when he saw him turn around.

_Skeppy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!


	4. Why

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is NSFW in this chapter after the dotted line

"Quackity?" 

_ Fuck. _ Quackity swallowed the bubble in his throat and started making his way towards Skeppy.

"H-Hey Skeppy, w-what are you doing here?" He sat at the small table. He couldn't look Skeppy in the eyes, hell he couldn't even fathom why Skeppy was here.  _ This is boyfriend's house idiot, of course, he would be here.  _ Skeppy raised an eyebrow at him,

"Want any eggs?" Skeppy asked, turning to look at him. Quackity shakes his head.

"No, I'm not that hungry, thanks though." He watched as Skeppy stared at him, before shrugging and turning back to the stove. The two sat in silence for a while, forks scrapping on plants and fingers tapping on the tabletop. Quackity turned to face the sound of the opening door. Bad stepped through and greeted the two, making his way to Skeppy. Giving a gentle kiss on the cheek, Skeppy giggled. Quackity felt sick.

“Hey Bad, thanks for having me over last night, but I need to get home.” He stood up from the table and made his way towards the door.

“Are you sure? You can stay for breakfast if you would like.” Bad turned to face Quackity, who smiled and shook his head.

“No, thank you though, ill be on my way, bye Bad, Skeppy.” He quickly turned towards the door, making his way out. 

\-----------------------------

Quackity flopped down on his bed.  _ That was fun. Shut the fuck up.  _ Quackity groaned, rolling on his back and staring at the ceiling, tracing out the curves and lines on the ceiling.

“That went awful didn't it” He chuckled, voice cracking partly. He sat up, walking to the bathroom. He looked like shit, his hair was a mess and he had bags under his eyes. 

_ Take a shower then. _ For once he agreed to himself, stripping off his clothes and turning the water on, stepping in.

He gently leaned forward, letting his forehead hit the cold tile wall, feeling the hot water run down his back. Quackity looked down, feeling guilty at the sudden feeling.  _ It's just you, it's okay. _

Quackity gently wrapped his hand around his dick, moaning softly and the sensation. Closing his eye, his mind wandered, finally landing on Bad. He groaned, imagining Bads hands were on him instead of his own. What would he do, would he praise Quackity for being good? Quackity moaned at the thought, gently pumping harder, and releasing. 

Opening his eye, he mentally slapped himself. God, he was creepy. The water had come to a stop. Leaving him cold and in his mind, he deserved it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the long update, school is tedious and I took the weekend to catch a break but I'm back now. Also sorry for it being so short, but I hope you enjoyed it.


	5. Let it out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a short chapter, I'm sorry it been like a week, I've been unmotivated and have just been chatting up on other fandoms. But I will try to update in this week with a longer chapter.

"Dude, I'm fucked!" Quackity paced around his house, leaving marks on the floor from his boots.

"Quackity, It's okay, things like this happen." Karl tried to get his friend to calm down, grabbing his arm and leading him to the couch, Karl gently pulled him to the couch, planting Quackity next to him, and rubbing his back in an attempt to soothe him. Quackity held his head in his hands, trying to suck in as much air as he could, he felt although he couldn't breathe. 

"No-no, it's not okay, this is Bad we are talking about- Bad who is dating Skeppy, the Bad I just jacked off too." Quackity could feel his throat tighten, he felt as if he was going to cry, not that Karl would mind, Karl had seen him cry, but he felt awful, he shouldn't be crying, he didn't deserve to cry because of this.

"Quackity, please try to breathe." Karl pulled his hands down from his face, lifting Quackitys head so he could breathe easier. Quackity nodded, sucking in and out until the knot in his chest unraveled. He sighed, resting his head against Karl's shoulder. Karl kept rubbing circles on his back, reaching a hand up to comb through Quackitys messy hair.

"Does he know that you-you know." Quackity shook his head.

"No, I haven't told him, I don't think I ever will," Quackity lifted his head off Karl's shoulder, turning his body to face him. Karl let go of him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Quackity bit his lip, looking down at his hands who were now fidgeting with one another, he let out a sigh and nodded.

"I shouldn't feel like this, I know it's wrong to feel like this but, I can't stop, whenever I look at him, I get this warm feeling in my chest, and I feel my legs go numb whenever he hugs me, and my throat closes whenever I want to talk to him," He sucked in a breath, looking Karl dead in the eyes, "I can't stop Loving him Karl, and I need to, but I don't want to, and it's killing me having to keep it a secret."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I hope you all liked this chapter! Sorry, it's really short, I've been catching up on school and got back into the Marvel Fandom, and it's tiring. Anyways, thank you for reading!


	6. Update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update

Hey yall, I'm sorry but I found out that Quackity is uncomfortable with shipping and NSFW so I will be ending this story. Thank you all so much for the support though! Im so thankful for all the nice comments you all gave me. Thank you.


End file.
